Her New Life
by NeverInLove.AlwaysInLust
Summary: Set four years after Date With The Night. Jude has moved on with her new life, but a ghost from her past makes her second guess everything. Will she give into her temptation, or will she go on with her life as it is.
1. Realization

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Instant Star or the Jessica Simpson song used in this chapter.**

**Chapter 1. Realization.**

_I don't need your strength anymore  
cause you've made me strong  
You may not see the woman in me  
That you dreamed of  
Holding me in your arms_

All the days that you gave  
All the moments you've saved me,  
Praying for my life  
Sacrificed, just to make me who I am on my own  
You don't have to let go

You don't say it  
But it's in your eyes  
All the fears of good-bye  
But I can promise  
You'll always have a place, and a way to my heart

All the days that you gave  
All the moments you've saved me,  
Praying for my life  
Sacrificed, just to make me who I am on my own  
You don't have to let go

I can live  
Cause you lived for me  
And I can love  
Because you loved me.

All the days that you gave  
All the moments you've saved me,  
Praying for my life  
Sacrificed, just to make me who I am on my own  
You don't have to let go

(Ooh ooh ooh)  
You don't have to let go

The music fades and Jude stands there holding her belly, smiling brightly at Kwest. He smiles back and gives her a thumbs-up before signaling for her to come into the sound room.

"Great job girl," He said as she walked in. She smiles again and slaps him a high five.

"Thanks, but I'm not sure Cierra liked it. She kept kicking me like crazy." Kwest laughed and looked over seeing Sadie singing to their son, Blake.

"Well maybe she has the restless Harrison syndrome you sisters are famous for," he said, grinning. "I know Blake gave your sister a lot of hellish kidney shots when she would sing."

Jude smirked and whispered in his ear, "Have you heard my sister sing?" Kwest laughed and Sadie looked over, giving Jude a dirty look.

Jude sighed and said with a little annoyance in her voice, "I do not know. It seems to me that she inherited her daddy's ADHD, speaking of which," She looked at her watch, "Speed will probably be looking for me here in about two seconds.

Just as she finished saying this, Vincent Speiderman poked his head in, "You ready to go my lovely wife? You have an ultrasound to attend." Jude looked at Kwest with an I-told-you-so look before grabbing her purse. He laughed and Speed looked at him confused.

"What's so funny?" he asked. Kwest just shook his head and walked over to Sadie, kissing her. "Let's go Speed racer," Jude said with humor in her voice.

They got into the car and Jude stared out the window lost in thought. A year after Tommy left, Jude and Speed announced their engagement at the CD release party for her third album. The media went crazy, but overall they had a lot of support from people. Now here she sits three years later pregnant with their first child. She smiles as she reminices the day she found out.

**Ok there you go! Let me know if I should update it or not…**


	2. Flashback to the Day

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Instant Star or any of the characters.**

**Chapter 2. Flashback To The Day**

Jude rolled over and threw up into a trashcan beside the bed. Speed groaned at the sound of her retching and started holding her hair back. When she finished, Speed kissed the small of her back and whispered into her ear, "That's it baby. I'm calling the doctor's office and making an appointment for today." Jude groaned and got up, taking the sheet that was wrapped around her. Speed looked at her and smiled, "Ah come on baby… you're taking all the fun out of it." He pulled her back into bed and kissed her neck. She moaned and got back up. "Sorry baby, I need a shower." She said, walking to the bathroom.

She stood under the warm water and ran her fingers across her belly. Looking down at it, she smiled. She didn't need to go to the doctor… somehow she knew.

Speed was outside the door waiting for her to come out of the bathroom. When she finally did, he kissed her passionately and pushed her gently against the wall. She moaned and wrapped her leg around him, unzipping his pants in the process. He pushed her skirt up and her panties aside before entering her. Every thrust came with such passion, it took her breath away. 'It's so amazing that I still feel this way about her after all this time. After a while, he felt her body tense up and the climaxed at the same time. Jude moaned one last time and laughed at him. He looked at her innocently and asked her, "What? What did I do?" "You just can't keep your hands off me can you?" She asked with laughter in her eyes. "I didn't hear any complaints during all that. Come on… Let's get you to the doctor.

Two hours later, they were sitting in the doctor's office listening to what th doctor had to say. Speed looked dumbfounded and moved his eyes to a smiling Jude. 'God she looks so happy and beautiful. She's literally glowing with happiness.' He thought to himself. He smiled and took Jude in his arms, kissing her. "Speed… We're gonna be parents." She said, smiling into his eyes. "Yeah… We are…" Speed kissed her again and pulled at her hand. "Come on… Let's go to the studio… I know you're dying to sing a new song."

They arrived at the studio and Jude walked in, grabbing a nine month pregnant Sadie and taking her into the soundproof booth. "I'm pregnant Sadie…" she said hugging her very round sister. Sadie squealed and hugged her sister back. "Oh my god… you are gonna be a on, we gotta tell Kwest." Sadie said excitedly. Jude nodded and walked out of the room with her sister.

_Dont need no copy of vogue magazine  
Dont need to dress like no  
Beauty queen  
High heels or sneakers, he dont  
Give a damn  
My baby loves me just the way that I am  
My baby loves me just the way that I am  
He never tells me Im not good enough  
Just give me unconditional love  
He loves me tender and he loves me mad  
He loves me silly and he loves me sad  
He thinks Im pretty, he thinks Im smart  
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart  
Hes always sayin hes my biggest fan  
My baby loves me just the way that I am  
My baby loves me just the way that I am_

And when theres dark clouds in my eyes  
He just sits back and lets em roll on by  
I come in like a lion go out like a lamb  
My baby loves me just the way I am  
My baby loves me just the way I am

He thinks Im pretty, he thinks Im smart  
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart  
Hes always sayin hes my biggest fan  
My baby loves me just the way that I am  
My baby loves me just the way that I am

He thinks Im pretty, he thinks Im smart  
He likes my nerve and he loves my heart  
Dont see no reason to change my plan  
My baby loves me just the way I am  
My baby loves me just the way I am

Jude finished the song and looked at Speed with love in her eyes. He smiled and walked into the room. "That was great baby…" He said, kissing her deeply.

"Jude…" Jude looked up from the flashback and saw Speed looking over at her. "You ok?" he asked frowning a little. She smiled softly and nodded. "Ok well we're here. Let's go see our baby…" Jude looked down at her big round belly and smiled. "Yes… Let's do that."

**Ok that is the second installment to my new story. I hope you like it and if the smut scene sucks, don't blame me… it's my first lol. Leave reviews.**


	3. Long way to happy

**Disclaimer: Again I do not claim to own Instant Star or the song Long Way To Happy By Pink. The Plot is though…**

**Chapter 3. Long Way To Happy**

"Well Mrs. Speiderman, your baby girl is healthy and about ready to come out f there," The doctor said chuckling. "So what do I do? I mean I am already a week overdue," Jude looked at him concerned. "Well… We'll give it another week and If your water still doesn't break, we'll induce labor. Be in here Friday morning and we'll go over and explain it all with you and your husband before we induce," The doctor explained, looking at her seriously. Jude nodded and walked out of the office.

Speed was waiting in the waiting room reading a magazine. He got up when she walked out and grabbed her hand. "What did he say? Is it anything serious?" Speed asked her, kissing her forehead. Jude smiled and shook her head. "They're going to induce me Friday." she grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the door, "Com on I want to get to the studio and let Darius know what's going on."

Ten minutes later, Jude got out of the car and walked into the studio. Speed followed behind her, with his hand on her back, helping her walk. Darius looked up and waved her over, his face holding a look of pity in his face. Jude walked over and smiled a little, though looking confused at the same time. "Darius, what's going on?" Darius Pointed to his office and sighed, "Jude…Go on in there… I'll be in there in a minute. We need to talk… All three of us…"

Jude sat there waiting, thoughts clouding her mind, 'What dd he mean all three of us? Did Speed and I do something wrong?' Just then the door opened and Jude looked up, startled. Darius walked in looking pissed and floowing closely behindhim was…

"Tommy? Wh-What are you doing back?" Jude asked, confusion turning into anger, "Darius what the hell is going on?" Darius shook his head and looked at Tommy, "Well? Do you want to tell her or should I?" he asked, glaring at Tommy. "Jude… I… I came back to work here," Tommy said, not even looking her in the eyes, "I'm your producer again." Jude pulled out her notebook and started writing the lyrics going through her head. Tommy sighed and got up, "See you in the booth, girl." Jude exploded, "Tommy! don't come in here calling me girl like nothing even happened! You don't know what I went through when you left. I could't write for weeks and I didn't eat. I almost died…. but of course you don't give a damn! Do you?" She didn't wait for an answer, but stormed out of the office. She stopped dead in her track when she felt liquid run down her legs. She looked down and whimpered, "Oh no… not now… not here." She suddenly screamed as a contraction hit. Darius and Tommy came running out and grabbed her arms, trying to help her to the car. Jude screamed again and shook her head, "Spee has the car and this baby is not going to wait… it's coming now!" Tommy and Darius took her over to the couch and laid her down. Tommy took charge and helped deliver the baby.

Hours later, Jude was laying in a hospital with her baby in her arms, going over the earlier events. Tommy delivered her baby girl an hour after her water broke and then called paramedics. Speed showed up just as they were loading Jude into the ambulance and rode with her to the hospital. Jude smiled and kissed Cierra Rose Speiderman on her head. The doctor came in and smiled, "Well seeing as there is nothing wrong with you two, you can go home. Do you have a ride home?" Speed walked back into the room and handed her a white rose. Jude looked at the doctor and smirked. "That answer your question doc?" Jude asked laughing.

They took the baby to Sadie's and Jude looked at her. "Sis… I really need to record this song… It gives me closure finally. Can you watch her?" Sadie nodded and went into the house, leaving Jude to stare out at the country. Jude drove to the studio and walked in, looking pissed again. She slammed into the booth and handed Tommy the backing track before going to the microphone. Tommy walked around to the room with the soundboard and put the disc in. The music began and Jude started singing her new song…

_One night to you  
Lasted six weeks for me  
Just a bitter little pill now  
Just to try to go to sleep  
No more waking up to innocence  
Say hello to hesitance  
To everyone I meet  
Thanks to you years ago  
I guess I'll never know  
What love means to me but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling_

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Left my childhood behind  
In a roll away bed  
Everything was so damn simple  
Now I'm losing my head  
Trying to cover up the damage  
And pad out all the bruises  
Do you know I had it  
So it didn't hurt to lose it  
Didn't hurt to lose it  
No but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing  
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name  
I just want to thank you  
Thank you  
From the bottem of my heart  
For all the sleepless nights  
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way

It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy

Jude finished the song and Tommy looked at her with sorrow in his eyes. Jude grabbed her purse and looked at her watch. It was 12:30 a.m. Noone was there but her and Tommy, so she turned on heel and walked out of the room. Tommy ran after her and grabbed her arm. Jude whirled around and slapped him sharply across the face. The sound echoed in the room and Tommy sighed, "I guess I deserved that… Look Jude I'm sorry… I just don't know why I disappeared without telling you… I hade business to take care of and I couldn't explain it." Jude glared at him and yelled, "Bullshit! You could have at least called me to let me know where the hell you were and if you were ok." With that she walked off, but Tommy grabbed her again and crashed his lips into hers, kissing her with passion she never felt, not even with Speed. She gasped and pulled away, pushing Tommy away from her. He looked at her and sighed again. "Fine… Just let me know when you're ready to give me a chance to explain myself." Jude closed her eyes and heard the door of the studio slam and Tommy's viper speed off.


	4. I still love him

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Instant Star or the song Stay With Me by Josh Gracin or the song The Last Song I'm Wasting On You by Evanescence.**

**Chapter 3. I still love him…**

Jude finally opened her eyes and tears streamed down her cheek. She thought about what Tommy had said to her and grabbed her jacket off the hook. Sh whispered barely, "I still love him…" and walked to her car.

From her cell, Jude called Speed and told him she was ok and that she was going to pick up Cierra from Sadie's house. She was just about to hang up when Speed asked her something she didn't want to answer, "Well how did recording go?" Jude closed her eyes and thought about the kiss and opened her eyes. Sh smiled slightly and thought to herself, 'Even though I hate him for leaving, I still felt butterflies when he kissd me.' "Jude? You still there?" Sped asked, sounding slightly concerned. Jude snapped back to reality and blurted out a lie, "Yeah… recording was pretty lame… not very interesting. Babe… I forgot… I have to take care of something. Can you get Cierra and take her home. I'll be home in the morning ok?" Speed sighed through the phone… he had a feeling something wasn't right. "Yeah babe… see you tomorrow." Jude did a u-turn and sped off in the other direction.

Tommy was sitting on his couch thinking about how beautiful Jude looked these days. Even thought she only had the baby today, she lost alot of the weight she put on when she was pregnant leaving her sexier than he had ever thought of her as. He looked down suddenly and groaned. "Oh great… now look what you did to yourself Tommy… She's married for god's sake," he muttered out loud to himself. He had just gotten up to take a cold shower when there was a knock at the door. When e opened it, he saw the tear-streaked face that haunted his every fantasy. She looked down and smirked, saying, "Happy to see you too." Tommy looked down and groaned again at himself.

Jude pushed him in th door and walked in muttering, "Since you're not going to invite me in…" Sh looked around the room and gasped in amazement. Pictures of the two of them lined the walls, along with his pictures from Boyz Attack. She looked at one picture in particular… it was the one that the paparazzi took of them at the river when they were working on her first song. He smiled and looked into her eyes. Jude smiled and whispered, "Wow Tommy… I never knew you were so photogenic." She looked at him and sighed."I need to know why you left me Tommy." Tommy ran his fingers through her hair and whispered, "My sister and her boyfriend took off and abandoned their daughter. I had to take care of her for a while.: Jude leaned her head against his chest and he kissed the top of her head. She looked back at him and said, "I'm still in love with you Tommy." she starts to cry a little and finishes her sentence, "And I don't know how to let you go." Tommy kissed her softly and whispered in her ear, "Tonight you don't have to…" He kissed her again and grabbed her hand, pulling her to a studio in his pool room. "I have a song for you… I wrote it after I left…" Tommy sat down with a guitar and began to sing…

_Baby, the clock on the wall is lying  
It's not really that late  
It's too cold outside to be walking around  
the streets of this town  
Anywhere if you think you have to be can wait_

So why don't you stay with me?  
Share all your secrets tonight  
We can make believe the morning sun never will rise  
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed  
And we'll be alright as long as you stay with me, yeah

Baby, there's just no use in hiding  
The way that I am feeling right now  
With you standing there baby I swear I can't help but stare  
Girl you're wearing me out, wearing me out

Baby why don't you stay with me?  
Share all your secrets tonight  
We can make believe  
the morning sun never will rise  
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed  
We'll be alright as long as you stay with me

Baby don't go it looks like it's starting to rain  
And it's so warm here in this apartment wrapped up in this blanket

So Stay

Baby why don't you stay with me?  
Share all your secrets tonight  
We can make believe  
the morning sun never will rise  
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed  
We'll be alright as long as you stay with me  
I'll be all right as long as you  
Stay with me

Tommy finishes and Jude smiles at him in amazement. "Wow… you still got it Tommy." He smiled and said, "Yup and now it's your turn." She smiled and grabbed her notebook, going to the chair. She tossed him the backing track and waits for the music to begin. When it does she starts to sing.

_Sparkling grey,  
Through my own veins.  
Any more than a whisper,  
Any sudden movement of my heart.  
And I know, I know I'll have to watch them pass away_

Just get through this day

Give up your way, you could be anything,  
Give up my way, and lose myself, not today  
That's too much guilt to pay

Sickened in the sun  
You dare tell me you love me  
But you held me down and screamed you wanted me to die  
Honey you know, you know I'd never hurt you that way

You're just so pretty in your pain

Give up my way, and I could be anything  
I'll make my own way  
Without your senseless hate... hate... hate... hate.

So run, run, run  
And hate me, if it feels good.  
I can't hear your screams anymore

You lied to me  
But I'm older now  
And I'm not buying baby

Demanding my response  
Don't bother breaking the door down  
I found my way out

And you'll never hurt me again.

Tommy walked to her and pushed her to the ground gently, kissing her.

**AN: Yup! A cliffhanger for you to wait… I'll probably update tomorrow!**


	5. The Day The World Stood Still

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own the show Instant Star or the songs _Give Unto Me_ by Evanscence and _In the Arms of the Angel _by Sarah McLachlan**

**Chapter 5. The Day the World Stood Still…**

Jude pushed him away gently and shook her head. She picked herself up off the floor, grabbed her jacket, and walked to the door. She turned to Tommy and looked at him saying, "I'm sorry Tommy, but I can't. I have a family… Speed and Cierra. I can't ruin my family or my life for this." Tommy nodded and held the door open for her to leave. "I'll be seeing you later." Jude walked out and got in her car to leave. Tommy turned around and slammed the door.

Jude walked into her house and saw Speed on the couch watching T.V. with the baby asleep in his arms. She smiled and went to sit by him. "Hey Jude," Speed said, chuckling at his own joke. Jude smiled again and kissed him softly before replying, "Hey… wow you got her to sleep. Sadie say anything?" He shook his head and answered softly, "No, but Wally and Kyle are asking for you to bring Cierra tomorrow so they can see her." Jude nodded and smiled, "Come on… It's 4:00 am. Let's go get ready for work, 'cause it's too late to go to sleep." Speed stod up with the baby in his arms amd helped Jude up. By 6:00 am, they were ready and Cierra was fussing, so Jude fed her and they gathered the diaper bag and left.

E.J. was waiting outside for Jude crying when they pulled up. Jude practically jumped out of the car when she saw her and ran up. "What? E.J. what's wrong?" Jude asked in a panicky voice. E.J. took Jude's hand in hers and broke down, mumbling, "Tommy's dead." Jude dropped to the ground and started crying hysterically, "No! No, he can't be." Speed walked up and E.J. told him. He handed the baby to E.J. and took Jude in his arms. She sobbed into his shoulder while he cried quietly to himself with her. When Jude finally calmed down, she went inside and asked Darius how it happened. "He shot himself," he answered quietly and handed her an envelope. Jude sat down and opened it… it was a letter from Tommy, written after she left. She held it with shaky hands and read it to herself.

_Dearest Sweet Jude, _

_I can't tell you how hard it is for me to leave you behind like this. I know it may seem like I was being selfish to do this, but I did this for you. I did it so you could let go of me and be with your family. You have grown up so beautifully these past five years since we met and I know that you are going to make a wonderful wife and mother. Speed is a very lucky guy to have you. You are one of those people everyone is always talking about…. and angel in disguise. I have left something for you in the booth. I know that it will hurt, but you have to move on. I always loved you, and I always will. Take care girl and be good to Speed. See you in another life._

_Love forever and always, _

_Tommy Q._

Jude put the letter in her pocjet and walked to the soundproof booth. There on a chair was Tommy's beloved leather jacket and a single red rose. Jude took the jacket into her arms and sobbed into it. Kwest walked in and pulled her into a hug. She cried on his shoulder like she had done with Speed, this time in between sobs she gasped out, "Why… did… he… do… it? What… made… him feel…. like he… had to… do this?" Kwest just shook his head and held her. Sadie walked in and sighed, looking down upon Jude. She waved Kwest out of the room and started talking to her sister.

Three days later, the funeral was beginning. Jude, dressed in a black skirt and blouse, walked up to the podium and started her speech. "Tommy… He wasn't just a producer for me. He was my best friend and first love. I looked at him as my inspiration and my role model. I loved him so much… and you know… even though I stand here today as a wife and a mother… even a role model to the younger teens. I would be nothing if it weren't for him. Wherever you are Tommy… just know that I miss you so, so much and I'll see you again in another time." She finished her speech and the priest walked to the microphone, "Jude has a couple of songs she would like to sing for the memory of Mr. Quincy."

She stood up as the music begins and her voice filled the room.

_I've been watching you from a distance  
The distance sees through your disguise  
All I want from you is your hurting  
I want to heal you  
I want to save you from the dark_

Give unto me your troubles  
I'll endure your suffering  
Place onto me your burden   
I'll drink your deadly poison

Why should I care if they hurt you  
Somehow it matters more to me  
Than if I were hurting myself  
Save you (save you)  
I'll save you

Give unto me your troubles  
I'll endure your suffering  
Place onto me your burden  
I'll drink your deadly poison

Fear not the flame of my love's candle  
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness   
Give unto me all that frightens you  
I'll have your nightmares for you  
If you sleep soundly

Give unto me your troubles   
I'll endure your suffering  
Place onto me your burden  
I'll drink your deadly poison

Fear not the flame of my love's candle  
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness  
Give unto me all that frightens you  
I'll have your nightmares for you  
If you sleep soundly

Fear not the flame of my love's candle  
Let it be the sun in your world of darkness

The music ended and she looked down, seeing people in the audience crying. "This next song... is a special one for me to sing for him… I just hope he likes it." She raised the microphone back up to her mouth and she starts singing.

_Spend all your time waiting_

_for that second chance_

_for a break that would make it okay_

_there's always one reason_

_to feel not good enough_

_and it's hard at the end of the day_

_I need some distraction_

_oh beautiful release_

_memory seeps from my veins_

_let me be empty_

_and weightless and maybe_

_I'll find some peace tonight_

_in the arms of an angel_

_fly away from here_

_from this dark cold hotel room_

_and the endlessness that you fear_

_you are pulled from the wreckage_

_of your silent reverie_

_you're in the arms of the angel_

_may you find some comfort there_

_so tired of the straight line_

_and everywhere you turn_

_there's vultures and thieves at your back_

_and the storm keeps on twisting_

_you keep on building the lie_

_that you make up for all that you lack_

_it don't make no difference_

_escaping one last time_

_it's easier to believe in this sweet madness oh_

_this glorious sadness that brings me to my knees_

_in the arms of an angel_

_fly away from here_

_from this dark cold hotel room_

_and the endlessness that you fear_

_you are pulled from the wreckage_

_of your silent reverie_

_you're in the arms of the angel_

_may you find some comfort there_

_you're in the arms of the angel_

_may you find some comfort here_

She sat down and for the rest of the funeral, thought about all the times they shared. In her mind she saw her 16th birthday…

"_You want to help me Tommy? Tell me what I do wrong… tell me why I'm so easy to give up and then maybe I can fix it." "You are asking the wrong guy." _Jude burst out into a fresh flow of tears as she sees the kiss in her mind.

**AN: Yeah you probably hate me right now, but just keep reading and I will update it soon… you shall see what happens later… there's a twist!**


	6. Where do I go from here?

**Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Instant Star**

**AN: Ok yeah sorry about the depressing last chapter, but I hope this makes up for it… This next chapter has to be in Jude's POV so you can feel what she feels.**

**Chapter 6. Where do I go from here?**

I awoke with a start and lookd at the alarm clock. It was 10 minutes to midnight, and the dream still raced through my head. The same dream that has haunted me since Tommy died five months ago.

"_**All summer, I've been dying to get back in the studio with you. I missed working with you. I'm just gonna say it flat out... I missed you." he looks over at me and sees that I'm asleep in the seat. He smiles and whispers, "Okay…"**_

I walk out to the kitchen and get a cup of coffee, but as soon as I raise it to my lips I get nauseous. I run to the bathroom and completely empty myself until I have no strength left. I get up and go to the living room, flipping on the T.V.

"_In other news, 22 year old Jude Harrison is taking a year off of singing… and a murder in the 1800 block of-"_

I flip the T.V. off and sighed lightly, tears running down my cheek. I haven't been able to stop crying since the day I found out he was gone. I used to hate myself for leaving that night… I still do, but noone knows about it. I can't say anything… if I do… I'll lose Speed and Cierra forever. Noone knows what I've been hiding since before Tommy left either… what really happened on my 17th birthday.

"_**Sadie and I- We weren't right…" "Why?" "You know exactly why." "Yeah." He leaned over and kissed me deeply, laying me down on the couch. He took my blouse off and kissed my neck before pulling my jeans off. I unbuttoned his jeans and pulled him closer to me, kissing him passionately. When he entered, I felt a little pain but ultamately I felt safe and comfort with him. I moaned and screamed his name when my orgasms hit. When he finally came, he groaned and laid down beside me. I kissed him and got up to get dressed. After we were both dressed, I laid my head on his chest and we both fell asleep. Suddenly we heard voices. I looked up at Tommy and smiled. He smiled back and whispered, "Hi." "Hey…" The door opened and Jamie and Speed walked in.**_

Then I flashed back to the studio after he came back… to my song…

_**One night to you  
Lasted six weeks for me  
Just a bitter little pill now  
Just to try to go to sleep  
No more waking up to innocence  
Say hello to hesitance  
To everyone I meet  
Thanks to you years ago  
I guess I'll never know  
What love means to me but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling **_

_**It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy **_

_**Left my childhood behind  
In a roll away bed  
Everything was so damn simple  
Now I'm losing my head  
Trying to cover up the damage  
And pad out all the bruises  
Do you know I had it  
So it didn't hurt to lose it  
Didn't hurt to lose it  
No but oh  
I'll keep on rolling down this road  
But I've got a bad, bad feeling **_

_**It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way **_

_**Now I'm numb as hell and I can't feel a thing  
But don't worry about regret or guilt cause I never knew your name  
I just want to thank you  
Thank you  
From the bottem of my heart  
For all the sleepless nights  
And for tearing me apart yeah yeah **_

_**It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way **_

_**It's gonna take a long time to love  
It's gonna take a lot to hold on  
It's gonna be a long, long, long, long way to happy, yeah  
Left in the pieces that you broke me into  
Torn apart but now I've got to  
Keep on rolling like a stone  
Cause it's gonna be a long long way to happy**_

**_I finished the song and Tommy looked at me with sorrow in his eyes. I grabbed my purse and looked at my watch. It was 12:30 a.m. Noone was there but me and Tommy, so I turned on heel and walked out of the room. Tommy ran after me and grabbed my arm. I whirled around and slapped him sharply across the face. The sound echoed in the room and Tommy sighed, "I guess I deserved that… Look Jude I'm sorry… I just don't know why I disappeared without telling you… I hade business to take care of and I couldn't explain it." I glared at him and yelled, "Bullshit! You could have at least called me to let me know where the hell you were and if you were ok." With that I walked off, but Tommy grabbed me again and crashed his lips into mine, kissing me with passion I had never felt, not even with Speed. I gasped and pulled away, pushing Tommy away from me. He looked at me and sighed again. "Fine… Just let me know when you're ready to give me a chance to explain myself." I closed my eyes and heard the door of the studio slam and Tommy's viper speed off._**

I sighed as I recalled all of these memories… feeling lost and lonely again. I heard a door open and looked up to see Speed holding Cierra and looking at me. I shook my head and whispered, "I have to go somewhere… just don't worry ok?" Speed nodded and I got up and walked out of the door.

Five minutes later, I was staring up at the house that Tommy and I recorded the songs in. Those two sweet, sweet songs that will forever be in my mind… him singing to me… it hurts so much. I walked in and ound the disk that had his song on it. I cried as soon as I heard his voice…

_Baby, the clock on the wall is lying  
It's not really that late  
It's too cold outside to be walking around  
the streets of this town  
Anywhere if you think you have to be can wait _

_So why don't you stay with me?  
Share all your secrets tonight  
We can make believe the morning sun never will rise  
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed  
And we'll be alright as long as you stay with me, yeah _

_Baby, there's just no use in hiding  
The way that I am feeling right now  
With you standing there baby I swear I can't help but stare  
Girl you're wearing me out, wearing me out _

_Baby why don't you stay with me?  
Share all your secrets tonight  
We can make believe  
the morning sun never will rise  
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed  
We'll be alright as long as you stay with me _

_Baby don't go it looks like it's starting to rain  
And it's so warm here in this apartment wrapped up in this blanket _

_So Stay _

_Baby why don't you stay with me?  
Share all your secrets tonight  
We can make believe  
the morning sun never will rise  
Come and lay your head on this big brass bed  
We'll be alright as long as you stay with me  
I'll be all right as long as you  
Stay with me_

I went into his room and laid on his bed, crying into his pillow. Then I heard a familiar voice behind me, "Don't you know that breaking and entering is against the law?" I looked up and saw… Tommy… but wait… it couldn't be… "You ok? You look like you've seen a ghost," he said with a slight chuckle. "Wait… I thought…" I broke down and sobbed. "No… it was all a huge mistake… I had to go back to Montana and I left you a note… Wait… oh no… you thought I was dead?" "Well yeah… E.J. said-" I said but he cut me off. "E.J. was out of her mind… She went and told everyone I was dead?" "Yeah Tommy… and they couldn't find your body, so we thought you went somewhere else and did it." "Tommy... where do I go from here? I want you..." I said quietly. He rushed over and hugged me, "Shh… sweetheart…" Then he kissed me deeply…

**AN: Told you there was a twist… Nah nah nah nah lol! I hope you are happy that Tommy is still alive…**


	7. Tommy Hate Speed?

**This time I am doing the song disclaimer at the end because I have a surpirse for you… think of it as a make up for the twist I threw in.**

**Chapter 7. Tommy Hate Speed?**

Jude sighed and sat up in her bed, looking at the clock. 3:45 a.m. She started to relay the things that went on between her and Tommy again... He came back and… eveything changed. She no longer loved Speed… well at least not the same way she did. She felt her feelings for Tommy groing every minute of every day. She got up and got dressed, kissing Speed softly before she left forthe studio. She needed alone time away from him… everything just felt wrong.

She arrived at the studio, surprised to see Tommy's viper parked in the spot. She figured she would be the only one here this early, but went in anyways. That's when she heard it… music… but wait… Tommy? Singing again? She shook her head and laid on the couch, falling asleep.

"Jude wake up…" She looked up and saw E.J. looking at her. She smiled and whispered a quick hello. E.J. pointed to Darius's office and said, "He wants you…" Jude nodded and walked in. "Jude… How's my sleepy rock star?" "Good… What is it you need?" Jude asked somewhat politely. "A six month tour… we've hired a new guitarist and Speed has to stay here… we have other business for him." Jude looked at Darius and shook her head in disbelief. "Are you serious?" He nodded and smirked, "Tommy is your opening act." Jude's eyes widened and she said, "I'll do it… when do we leave?" "Tonight and you can bring Cierra." "Great!" Jude left and went home to pack.

7:00pm… Jude walked up to the bus and threw hers and Cierra's stuff in one of the back rooms. She got off and hugged Speed goodbye. He shook his head and looked at her sadly whispering, "I'll miss you." She nodded and kissed him, "I'll miss you too baby…" Tommy looked away sadly and got onto the bus. Jude followed with Cierra, crying softly; not for Speed… but for how she felt… cold.. empty. She held the baby in her arms and kissed the top of her head. Tommy looked at her and somehow he felt her pain through her eyes. Jude looked away from him and walked to her room, putting the sleeping baby in her crib and going to sleep herself.

She woke up to the bus jolting to a stop and Tommy yelling that they were at the first concert area. Jude handed the baby to one of the fill-in guitarists and got off the bus. Two hours later she sat backstage waiting for them to start. Then she heard the announcer call Tommy's name and she walked to the outer side of the stage. He smiled and said in a clear, loud voice, "This one is for a very special girl in my life… it's called Obsession.. and some of it is in Spanish so bear with me if I suck…" The audience laughed and the music began, Tommy's voice filling the air.

_Well it's early in the morning  
And my heart is feeling lonely  
Just thinkin bout you baby  
Got me twisted in the head  
And I dont know how to take it  
But it's driving me so crazy  
I dont know if it's right  
I'm tossin turning in my bed  
It's 5 oclock in the morning  
And I still can't sleep  
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me  
weep...  
I'm feeling hopeless in my home  
I dont know what to do I think I'm in love  
Baby..._

Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Then what am I feeling (what am I doing wrong)  
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Now I know you're not my lady but I'm just tryin to make this right  
I dont know what to do I'm going out of my mind  
So baby if u let me could I getchu to say maybe we could ride together  
We could do this all nite now I dont care if u got a man  
Baby I wish you'd understand  
Cuz I know he can't love u right, quite like I can  
It's 5 oclock in the morning  
And I still can't sleep  
Thinkin bout your beauty it makes me  
weep...  
I'm feeling hopeless at home  
I dont kno what to do I think I'm in love

Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong)  
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

I love the way u freaky like that  
I love the way u freaky like that  
I love the way u freaky like that  
It's an obsession

Jude gasped as she saw Shay walk on the stage and start rapping or singing, whichever it was… Jude smiled at Tommy when he looked back at her. He smiled back and she shook her head and whispered to herself, "You never cease to amaze me Quincy…"

_Shay  
Hold up let me dream  
Shorty got me feelin less supreme  
Where my candy, where my cream  
Got your boy feel less supreme  
Hold up wait a minute baby you so damn independent  
Loving everything your representing  
Got alot of money, I love to spend it  
And thats whats up and I dont care what people scream  
You're my blessin when I'm stressin  
My superfly beauty queen  
I'm gonna keep it saucy  
Cuz my money know how I do, we go rendez-vous, mi corazon belongs to you_

Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Then what am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong) what am I do wrong echo  
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?  
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
What am I feeling? (what am I doing wrong?) what am I do so wrong? echo  
Amor, no es amor (if this aint love)  
Is this an illusion that I have in my heart?

Amor

The crowd went wild as Tommy shook Shay's hand and Shay left the stage. Tommy raised the microphone back to his lips and said, "And this is for that same girl and her "love" that I really don't like right now." He started to sing again and Jude watched his every move, eyes wide.

_I want to take his eyes out  
Just for looking at you  
Yes I do  
I want to take his hands off  
Just for touching you  
Yes I do_

And I want to rip his heart out  
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do

And I want to make him  
Regret life since the day he met you  
Yes I do  
And I want to make him  
Take back all that he took from you  
Yes I do

And I want to rip his heart out  
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do

_And I want to rip his heart out  
Just for hurting you  
And I want to break his mind down  
Yes I do… Just for holding you…_

The audience was quiet as Tommy left the stage and Jude grabbed his arm whispering, "You need to wait for me in my dressing room… we need to talk." She walked out onto stage and sang Runaway, Long Way to Happy, and songs from her first album. She walked to her waiting room for her break while the other band played.

Tommy sat in her dressing room and sighed when she walked in, anticipating her anger. He was right to be ready for she started yelling at the top of her lungs, "WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING QUINCY? DO YOU REALIZE THE PAPARAZZI ARE GOING TO WORK OUT THE MATH AND FIGURE OUT WHO YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT? THE FIRST SONG WAS FINE BUT THE SECOND ONE? WHY DID YOU DO THAT?" Tommy took a breath and started trying to explain, but he was speechless. He sighed and put his head in his hands whispering softly, "I'm sorry Jude." She sat beside him and kissed his cheek. "It's fine… sorry I blew up. I better go finish up with my last song. I'll see you on the bus." She walked out of the room.

She walked back onto stage and said softly, "These two songs are for someone that I hurt recently and he doesn't know how much it hurt me to do so…"

_Story of my life  
Searching for the right  
But it keeps avoiding me  
Sorrow in my soul  
Cause it seems that wrong  
Really loves my company_

_**In her mind's eye, Jude saw her and Tommy in his house… the night he came back, after everyone thought he was dead.**_

He's more than a man  
And this is more than love

_**She saw him kissing her neck and unbuttoning her blouse… pulling her away from reality.**_

_  
The reason that the sky is blue  
The clouds are rolling in  
Because I'm gone again  
And to him I just can't be true  
_

_**He pulled her shirt and bra off, leaving her defenseless… lost… and confused, all the while, wanting him.**_

_  
And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside_

_**She unbuckled his jeans and pulled them off, before raising letting him pull her jeans off. He plunged down deep into her.**_

_  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying  
_

_**She softly moaned out his name and cried out as an orgasm hit her like she never felt before.**_

_  
I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer  
_

_**She watched his every move, admiring him in the moonlight. She kissed him deeply, making him groan.**_

_  
I feel it in the air  
As I'm doing my hair  
Preparing for another date  
A kiss upon my cheek  
As he reluctantly_

_**He comes in her and collapses onto her chest, kissing her neck and nuzzling her.**_

_  
Asks if I'm gonna be out late  
I say I won't be long  
Just hanging with the girls  
A lie I didn't have to tell_

**_She sighs happily and watches him slowly fall asleep, feeling a little bit more content…_**

_  
Because we both know  
Where I'm about to go  
And we know it very well  
_

_**She watched herself get up and get dressed, going home and kissing Speed with the same lips she used to kiss Tommy.**_

_  
Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful  
And it kills him inside  
To know that I am happy with some other guy  
I can see him dying_

_**She kept singing as a tear fell down her cheek… she had cheated on Speed before…**_

I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
Everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside  
I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer  


_**Just once… back when she was seventeen…**_

_  
Our love, his trust  
I might as well take a gun and put it to his head  
Get it over with  
I don't wanna do this  
Anymore  
Uh  
Anymore (anymore)  
_

_**Again she saw the scene play out in her head… her and Tommy writing a song, sleeping together, and lying to Speed…**_

_  
I don't wanna do this anymore  
I don't wanna be the reason why  
And everytime I walk out the door  
I see him die a little more inside_

_**She knew what she had to do… to keep him from getting hurt…**_

_  
And I don't wanna hurt him anymore  
I don't wanna take away his life  
I don't wanna be...  
A murderer (a murderer)  
_

_**She had to end it with Speed…**_

_  
No no no no_

Yeah yeah yeah

She breathed out a soft sigh before singing the other song…

_Seems like it was yesterday when I saw your face  
You told me how proud you were but I walked away  
If only I knew what I know today_

I would hold you in my arms  
I would take the pain away  
Thank you for all you've done  
Forgive all your mistakes  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To hear your voice again  
Sometimes I want to call you but I know you won't be there

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself by hurting you  
Some days I feel broke inside but I won't admit  
Sometimes I just want to hide 'cause it's you I miss  
You know it's so hard to say goodbye when it comes to this

Would you tell me I was wrong?  
Would you help me understand?  
Are you looking down upon me?  
Are you proud of who I am?  
There's nothing I wouldn't do  
To have just one more chance  
To look into your eyes and see you looking back

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself  
If I had just one more day, I would tell you how much that  
I've missed you since you've been away

Oh, it's dangerous  
It's so out of line to try to turn back time

I'm sorry for blaming you for everything I just couldn't do  
And I've hurt myself

By hurting you

She walked off the stage and went to her dressing room, feeling completely numb and exhausted. She got dressed and went up to the tour bus. When she got settled into her room again, she heard her phone ring and sighed, knowing Speed figured it out. She answered it and whispered, "Hello?" Speed was on the other end and sighed, "Jude… listen I… I cheated on you… I'm sorry… but I want a divorce… I'm in love with someone else." When they finished talking, Jude hung up and threw her phone across the room, laying back on the bed. She heard a knock on the door and saw Tommy open it. "You ok, girl?" He asked softly. Jude nodded and replied, "My husband cheated on me and wants a divorce… I granted it… I never felt better." Tommy walked over and pulled her into a hug, taking in her scent and feeling weak. "I'm sorry girl… I know it must hurt…" he whispered, kissing her cheek. She nodded and said weakly, "I never wanted to be with him… I just felt like we should be together… you left me and I had nothing left…" Tommy nodded and stroked her hair, feeling awful. He kissed the top of her head and grabbed her hand, pulling her to the front room. Wally, Kyle, and Jake(new guitarist) looked up and smiled. "Hey Jude… You ok?" Kyle asked curiously. Jude nodded and hugged him and Wally. "I'm just thankful that you guys aren't like Speed…" Wally nodded and whispered, "He just called… I hung up on him… he shouldn't have done that. He and Eden deserve each other." Jude smiled and looked at Tommy. "I wouldn't be anything but a puddle if it weren't for you… thanks Tommy." She kissed his cheek and walked back to her room. "Ooh Tommy…" Kyle said jokingly.

Back in Jude's room, she was writing a new song… the lyrics were flooding her head, causing her to get confused. But she just kept writing and singing.

_Can't walk down the street  
Can't sit in my room_

She nodded and played the chord, not knowing that Tommy and the band were listening on the baby monitor.

_Can't close my eyes  
Without thinking of you  
Can't smell a flower… _"No… that's not working…

_Can't smell a rose… _"Yeah that does…"

Tommy smiled, listening to her argue with herself. He thought it was cute how frustrated she got.

An hour later, she finally got the song that she wanted and walked out to the front room. She smiled and sat down beside Tommy. Eithout saying a word, she began playing her song.

_Can't walk down the street  
Can't sit in my room  
Can't close my eyes  
Without thinking of you  
Can't smell a rose  
Can't look at the moon  
Can't take a breath  
Without missing you_

It's such a beautiful thing  
But it doesn't make sense  
Without you babe  
If I could I would make you love me  
If I could I would leave this place  
I'm the one who could make you happy  
I try so hard but I can't walk away

Why can't you be here  
Why did you leave  
Is it my fault  
You don't love me  
Why do I cry  
Why don't you call  
Why does it seem  
You don't care at all

You don't feel a thing  
I don't understand  
Why I need you babe  
I'm the one who could make you happy  
I try so hard but I can't walk away

Get away get away  
If I could I would make you love me  
If I could I'd forget your face  
I know I could make you happy  
I try so hard but I can't get away  
Get away from you

Jude looked up from her guitar at Tommy, seeing him smiling at her with love in his eyes. He walked up to her and kissed her in front of Wally, Kyle, and Jake, without caring what they thought. She kissed him back, shocked, and got up, grabbing his hand. She looked at the rest of the band and smiled. "We're going to work on this song and make it better," She told them and pulled Tommy into her room.

Once inside the room, she started to make out with him. Tommy led her to the bed and she giggled playfully. He pulled her shirt off, kissing her neck and chest. She moaned quietly and arched her back to him. He unhooked her bra and began to kiss her breasts. She ran her fingers through his hair and pulled his shirt off, causing him to break the kisses. She pulled his face to hers and kissed him softly. He unbuttoned her jeans and pulled them off, threw them aside, and pulled her panties off. She pulled his jeans and boxers off while she kept kissing him. He entered her and moved inside of her, slowly at first, then gaining speed with each thrust. He loved listening to her scream and moan with pleasure, making him speed up and thrst harder. She clenched the sheets and moaned his name… god he loved it when she did that. He felt her climax again and again, each time screaming louder. He listened to her voice… the high notes… and felt her warmth. He could feel himself begin to peak and they both climaxed at the same time. Tommy pulled out and laid beside her, breathing hard. Jude was still struggling to catch her breath when someone knocked on the door. She looked at Tommy and mouthed the word oops, then got up to answer the door with a sheet around her. Kyle stood outside blushing and whispered, "Do you guys want anything to eat?" Jude shook her head and looked at Tommy, ho also shook his head. Kyle nodded and left the room, going to the front.

An hour later, Jude and Tommy sat in the front room talking to the band and stealing glances at each other. Suddenly the bus lurched to a stop and the bus driver said someone needed to talk to Jude. She got off the bus and saw Speed with custody and divorce papers in her hand. She shook her head and said firmly, "You are not taking my daughter from me."

**AN: Ok I am so so sorry I didn't update this weekend… my computer was being gay so yeah I had to do this at school. I hope you guys like it and it's extra long to make up for it. Love ya's and I'll update later today if I can. I am also starting yet another ff and it's gonna kinda be like Jude and Tommy going through what I am now… you'll have to see.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Obsession(Frankie J), Just For(Nickelback), Unfaithful(Rihanna), Hurt(Christina Aguilera), or Make You Love Me(Kaci Brown.**

**Shawna**


	8. Broken

**AN: Ok so I didn't quite get around to a second update yesterday and I am so truly sorry... but this will be a make up and all that... I did start on typing the other story I told you about, but I am afraid that I won't post it until I get some reviews on both of these stories. And here we go with my new chapter... I also got an idea from a friend that I'm going to start giving you a preview of the next chapter at the end. I do not claim to own any of the songs on this page…**

Chapter 8. Broken

Jude stared at Speed, glaring at him darkly. He looked at her and shook his head before whispering, "I'm sorry but the judge thinks that you have too active of a lifestyle for our daughter to live in." She grabbed his throat and threw him against the bus. He pushed her away and got on the bus, taking Cierra away from Wally and walking off of it. She sat in the road crying and cussing herself, wishing he would give the baby back. Tommy got off the bus and picked Jude up in his arms. She lost it and sobbed into his shoulder hysterically, "He.. took... my... baby..." Tommy carried her onto the bus and back into her room, Kyle and Wally close behind him. After he set her on her bed, he turned to Wally and Kyle and shook his head. "She needs some time to herself," he said firmly and pushed them out the door, going with them. Jude sat in her room and cried herself to sleep.

Jude walked into Tommy's room an hour later and jumped onto the bed beside him, waking him up. "Tommy... Wake UP!!!" she yelled. Tommy groaned and pulled her down on top of him into a kiss. She laughed and whispered, "You still have to wake up baby." He chuckled and shrugged. "Oh well... it was worth a try," he said sleepily. She got up and pulled the blanket off of him and laughed when he groaned and got up. He looked at her softly and mumbled, "You ok?" She nodded and cleared her throat before answering him completely, "He'll take good care of her... and I mean I think it's good for him to have her... I can't really see him doing anything to hurt her." Tommy nodded and placed his hands on her hips, pulling her into another kiss. "Come on... we have a duet to perform."

Three hours later, Tommy and Jude were still working on their song... They planned to reveal it at her concert in Toronto the next night and it still needed work. It was a surprise for Darius that they were sure he would love. Tommy's voice started the song.

_That I love the way you laugh_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain away_

_And keep your photograph_

_And not know it serves me well_

_I wanna hold you high and steal your pain_

They looked at each other as their voices together began to surround the bus. Tommy watched Jude as she sang with him and smiled.

_Cause I'm broken_

_When I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right_

_When you're gone away_

_You don't feel me in here anymore..._

Jude began her part...

_The worst is over now_

_And we can breathe again_

_I wanna hole you high and steal my pain away_

_There's so much left to learn_

_And noone left to fight_

_I wanna steal you're pain_

_Cause I'm broken_

_When I'm open_

_And I don't feel right _

_I am strong enough_

Kyle nudged Wally and nodded towards Jude. Wally looked and saw her looking at Tommy with pure love in her eyes. Wally smiled and looked back at Kyle, nodding... They were in love...

_Cause I'm broken_

_When I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right_

_When you're gone away_

_Cause I'm broken_

_When I'm open_

_And I don't feel right _

_I am strong enough_

_Cause I'm broken_

_When I'm lonesome_

_And I don't feel right_

_When you're gone away_

_You don't feel me in here anymore..._

Jude smiled as they finished their song and hugged Tommy. Kyle and Wally cheered and clapped, while the other guitarist, Jake smiled at them. "Whoo... you guys rock!" Wally exclaimed and kissed Jude on the cheek. She looked up at him, shocked and hugged him. Wally blushed and hugged her back, giving a thumbs up to Tommy. Tommy chuckled and tugged at Jude's hand, signaling for her to come to the back bedroom with him. She shook her head and chuckled, saying to him, "Not tonight baby... I'm so sleepy I can barely move." She yawned and looked at him again. He gave her the puppyface and again she shook her head. "I'll sleep in there though..." He chuckled and they both walked into the back room.

Jude woke up to the bus lurching to a stop quickly. Wally walked to the back and knocked on Tommy's door softly, blushing bright red when Jude answered with nothing but a towel on. "We're here," he said softly and walked back to the front. Jude shook her head and looked at a now wide awake Tommy and chuckled, "We need to get poor Wally laid." Tommy laughed and whispered, "We can't get him laid... hell I didn't even get laid last night." Jude straddled him and kissed him. "Well if I was into quickies I would say we could do one, but I like it long," said Jude with a sexy smile. Tommy groaned and pushed her off gently. "Jude don't do that... I don't want to be held responsible for what I might do..." Jude laughed and walked out of the room.

Jude got up on stage with Tommy that night and looked at the familiar crowd of her hometown. She grabbed the mic and smiled at Tommy before saying loudly over the cheers, "Tonight... we're gonna do something a little different... Tommy and I are singing a duet... Just for our sweet hometown. We missed you guys and only three months left before we're back in studio." She noticed Tommy gesturing for her to hand him the mic. She gave it to him and watched him cross the stage, getting something out of his jacket. He walked back to Jude and smiled as Speed came across the stage, handing Tommy another microphone for Jude. She looked at both of them confused and Speed gave her a hug, whispering, "It's all for you dude. I still love you, but we weren't right for each other. Cierra loves you too... you just be good girl." He turned and walked off the stage and watched Tommy raise the microphone to his mouth. He smiled and looked at Jude, speaking to her through the mic, "Jude... girl we've been through so much... I planned tonight with Darius and Speed and the boys..." He got down on one knee and pulled out a box. Inside was a diamond ring in the shape of a teardrop with little blue diamonds around it. Jude gasped and looked at Tommy with tears in her eyes as he asked her the question, "Jude Elizabeth Harrison... will you marry me?" Speed handed Jude the mic and she whispered out a yes. Tommy looked at her with a grin and said to the audience, "Come on we got to hear that answer don't we guys?" Jude laughed a little and said in a loud, excited voice, "Yes! I will marry you Tommy..." The audience went wild and Tommy smiled at her, "All right now me and Jude are going to let you hear our song."

That night, they were celebrating by throwing a huge party on the bus, where they invited Janelle, a girl that Wally thought was cute. Jake, Jude and Tommy were in the front room with Kyle and Wally was in his room with Janelle. Jake, Jude, Kyle, and Tommy were doing shots and talking about the concert, getting wasted when they heard Janelle moaning rather loudly from Wally's room. Jude's jaw dropped and she ran to Wally's door, putting her ear to the door. She heard the bed squeaking and Janelle screaming Wally's name. Jude went into a fit of giggles and pulled Tommy to her room, whispering, "We can beat them."

Kyle looked around, suddenly noticing Tommy and Jude were gone. He shrugged his shoulders and took another shot. He heard two girls screaming and moaning by the time he got to his eighth shot. He shook his head and went to his room, put on his headphones and went to sleep. Jude and Tommy went at it for about two or three hours, going well past what Janelle and Wally got to. Jude got up and put on her panties and spaghetti strap shirt. She then walked out of her room and got a glass of water. A door opened and Kyle stood there looking at her with his mouth open in shock. Jude threw the glass in the sink and ran to Tommy's room, slamming the door behind her.

The next morning, Tommy shook Jude gently to wake her then kissed her. Jude woke up and looked Tommy in the eyes, groaning, "Why do I feel like a jackhammer is hitting my brain?" Tommy chuckled and kissed her forehead before handing her asprin and saying, "Hangover babe... oh and three hours of high notes." Jude dropped her head back on the pillow and grinned. "Three hours, huh?" She asked, "You lasted three hours? Wow... Tommy you always seem to amaze me." Tommy chuckled and walked out of the room. When Jude finally got up and got dressed, she remembered her run-in with Kyle the night before. She shook her head and chuckled, thinking to herself, 'I probably scarred the poor kid for life.' She walkjed out of her room and into the front of the bus where Tommy and the boys were. She sat on Tommy's lap and noticed Kyle avoiding her eyes. She laughed a little and walked to Kyle, whispering into his ear. He grinned and shook his head. "Jude you are crazy," he said before he went into the bathroom. Tommy looked at her confused and she just kissed him and whispered, "Long story babe."

The last three months of the tour flew by, and the gang finally returned home. Porchia immediately flooded Jude with wedding plans and Tommy, Jude noticed, was more close to Speed than she had ever seen before. She was confused when he asked speed to be his best man, but decided to just chalk it up to them being friends. Before long, Jude's wedding plans were beginning to unfold and she and Tommy started getting nervous.

"What if this is all a dream... are we rushing into this Porchia?" Jude asked while she was being fitted for her dress... again. Porchia shook her head and smiled. "Jude calm down babe," she said with a laugh, "Believe me this is long overdue... I figured he would have asked you ages ago if it weren't for Speed." Jude then got started on that subject, "And Speed... What, was he inhabited by aliens? He has become a totally different guy then the one who took my daughter from me." "Jude honey, he's growing up... he realizes that you and him weren't good for each other. You guys were young and stupid is how he sees it. He knows that Tommy and you were meant for each other... besides I think he and that Eden chick are perfect for each other." Jude looked at Porchia and smiled, "Yeah I guess you're right."

"Kwest man... I'm not sure about the whole marriage thing now... what if she doesn't want to be with me like she thought she did?" Kwest was about to answer but Speed walked by and said with a smirk, "Oh believe me Tommy... she wants you." Tommy shook his head and looked at Kwest and saw Kwest nodding in agreement. "She's got it bad for you Tom..." Kwest looked at him and smiled reassuringly. Tommy nodded and hushed up as Sadie walked in. She looked at them suspiciously and looked questionably at Kwest. Kwest just shook his head and kissed her softly. "Ok I dropped Blake off at the babysitters and Jude wants to see Speed ASAP." Tommy looked up, but saw Sadie look back at him and give him a reassuring look and she said with a smile, "It's just about the tuxedos Tommy... calm down." He chuckled and nodded, grabbing the guitar off of its stand. He began to play strum it, not even noticing a tune. Kwest stopped what he was doing and looked at Tommy. "Play that again T," he said and listened to it hard before smiling, "Sounds like you might have started a hit. He looked at Sadie and whispered something in her ear. She smiled and left the room, leaving Tommy confused. Sadie returned with a notebook and handed it to Tommy."Get to writing," Kwest barked at him and left the room with Sadie. Tommy thought about all the times Jude and he had been through. He smiled and began to write.

Jude was finally changed out of her dress and into a comfortable pair of track pants that hugged her curves, making her irrisistable. She walked out of the room she was being fitted in and into the main room. She saw Darius talking to Kwest and looked at them questionably. They pointed to Studio B and she headed over there. She got to the door when she heard music and Tommy writing lyrics. She smiled to herself and sat down on the door to listen to him.

_Last time I talked to you_

_You were lonely and out of place_

_Even looking down on me_

_Lost out in space_

_We laid underneath the stars_

_Strung out and feeling great_

_Watch the red-orange glow_

_Watch it float away_

_Down here in the atmosphere_

_Garbage and city lights_

_Gonna save your taggard soul_

_Gonna save our lives_

_Turn down the radio_

_To find you on satallite_

_I'm waiting for the sky to fall_

_I'm waiting for a sign_

_And all we are_

_Is all so far_

_You're falling back to me_

_The star that I can see yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_You're falling out of reach_

_You're fighting gravity yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_I hope you remember me _

_When you're homesick and need a change_

_I'll miss your purple hair_

_I'll miss the way you taste_

_I know you'll comeback someday_

_On a bed of nails I wait_

_I'm praying that you don't burn out or fade away_

_And all we are_

_Is all so far_

_You're falling back to me_

_The star that I can see yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_You're falling out of reach_

_You're fighting gravity yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_You're falling back to me_

_The star that I can see yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_You're falling out of reach_

_You're fighting gravity yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_You're falling back to me_

_The star that I can see yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_You're falling out of reach_

_You're fighting gravity yeah_

_I know you're out there_

_Somewhere out there_

_It's falling back to me..._

_Oh I know, I know..._

_You're falling out of reach_

_I know..._

Jude sat there and silent tears rolled down her cheeks... she was so in love with him. Tommy opened the door and Jude fell backwards, hitting her head on the ground. Tommy looked down at her smiling and she held her hand out for him to help her up. When she was up, she hugged him and kissed him deeply. "I love you so much Tommy. I can't wait to be your wife." Tommy smiled and whispered in her ear, "I love you too girl."

Two months later, Tommy was putting his on and looking in the mirror. Speed walked up and smiled at him. "You better treat her right," was all he said before he walked out the door. Tommy looked up and saw that he was gone, then turned to Kwest. Kwest smiled at him and asked in an ammused voice, "Ready?" Tommy nodded and they both walked out the door and to their place at the altar.

Jude sat in the chair letting Porchia put her hair in a curly up do. Porchia smiled at her and whispered, "You look amazing Jude. Nervous?" Jude nodded and said, "I think I'm going to throw up. Porchia laughed and Sadie walked up to Jude in her blue bridesmaid dress. She kissed her sister's cheek and whispered, "Tommy is going to drool over you babe." Jude smiled and Porchia asked her, holding her hand out to her, "Ready Miss Harrison?" Jude smiled and nodded softly. They walked to the door where she was to enter the room with her father.

Tommy looked up as the door in the front of the room opened. His eyes widened and his knees got weak as he saw the love of his life walk down the aisle in a pure white silk gown. The gown hugged her curves and made her look so elegant, the make-up was natural, and her hair was up with loose curls surrounding her face. She finally looked up at Tommy and smiled nervously at him with tears of joy running down her cheeks. She finally reached the end of the aisle and her dad gave her to Tommy, whom smiled at her with his blue eyes sparkling. Then the preacher began to speak to them, but all Jude could think of was that she made it... after everything, she was finally marrying Tom Quincy. Before she knew it it was time for the I do's.

_Do you Jude Elizabeth Harrison take Thomas Jacob Quincy to be your lawfully wedded husband. To have and to hold, in sicness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live._

Jude looked at Tommy, her eyes twinkling and said strongly, "I do."

_Do you Thomas Jacob Quincy take Jude Elizabeth Harrison to be your lawfully wedded wife. To have and to hold, in sicness and in health, for richer or poorer, as long as you both shall live._

Tommy smiled at her and said deeply, "I do."

_If we could have the rings..._

Jude turned to Sadie, who was holding Cierra and got the ring off of the pillow her daughter was holding. The preacher smiled at her and she began her written vows.

"Tommy... you have been there for me through so much... the fights, the kisses, everything with you makes life so much sweeter. You are the sun, the moon, and the stars around me. You are my reason for living. You complete me in so many ways and you are everything I could hope for in a man." She slipped the ring onto his finger.

Tommy turned and took Jude's ring from Jacob, who was standing next to Kwest. Kwest smiled down at his son and then up at Tommy. Tommy smiled back and turned back to Jude to begin his vows.

"Jude... when I met you, I somehow knew that you were the one for me. You made me everything I am today. You are the one person I can see myself with for the rest of my life. I really meant it when I said in sickness and in health. You have made me the man I am today and I will always love you. You are the reason I wake up every morning and the reason I breath." He slipped the ring on her finger and gripped her had tightly.

The preacher nodded and finished talking.

_I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss the bride._

Tommy kissed her deeply and held her close to him as the pictures began. They stood there and let the press take their pictures and the photographer take his. They then went to the reception, where everyone wanted to be around the gorgeous bride and her new husband.

"So... Mrs. Jude Elizabeth Harrison Quincy, huh?" Patsy walked over and hugged her. She had grown alot as an artist, showing her feelings, and looking a little less grunge. She smiled and kissed Jude's cheek, handing her a box with blue velvet. Jude smiled and said, "Oh Patsy you shouldn't have..." She opened it and inside was a sapphire necklace that matched her engagement ring. Jude smiled and teared up a little while she hugged Patsy. Patsy smiled and shrugged saying, "Anything for my favorite little blonde rebel." Jude smiled and looked up at Tommy, who saw the whole thing. He smiled and pulled Patsy into a hug whispering, "Thanks for being there for her." Patsy waved her hand to him and chuckled before walking off. Jude smiled up at him... this was the best day of her life.

_**Preview for the next chapter**_

_**Jude sat up in bed as her phone began to ring. She saw an unknown number, but answered it anyways. A voice at the other end asked uncertainly, "Mrs. Jude Quincy?" She whispered a quiet yes, so she wouldn't wake Tommy. The voice said solemnly, "I'm sorry to inform you that there's been an accident."**_


	9. Epilogue

**AN: Ok so I know you're going to hate me after this ending, but I didn't feel this story going anywhere… this is the much awaited epilogue to Her New Life. I'm sorry if you hate me for it…**

**Epilogue:**

Three months later, Jude awoke in bed to the phone ringing. She looked over and saw that Tommy was not in bed, and there was a note scribbled on a piece of paper on his pillow:

_Went to G-major for damage control. Love you and see you when I get home. Food on the counter, and coffee is made._

_Tommy_

Jude sat up in bed as her phone began to ring. She saw an unknown number, but answered it anyways. A voice at the other end asked uncertainly, "Mrs. Jude Quincy?" She whispered a quiet yes. The voice said solemnly, "I'm sorry to inform you that there's been an accident."

Two days later Jude stood in front of a podium and began her speech, "This has got to be the hardest thing for me to do… I not only lost the man I love, but I lost my best friend. Tommy was my best friend and he always knew how to cheer me up, even when he was the one who upset me. I stood in front of this podium a while ago making a speech about him when we lost him the first time. I wish this was all just a mistake like then, but he's really gone," her voice started to crack as she looked down at her speech, "It hurts me to know that our son will never know his daddy and I will never ove anyone like I loved him. Tommy… I'm going to miss you and I will see you again someday."

She walked to his casket and placed a sonogram picture next to his still figure. She then walked to the end of the row to her sister's side. They lowered the casket and Jude bid one last good-bye to her husband.

**Jude's POV:**

_Though he is gone from this world, I will always feel his presence within me. I will always remember the taste of his kiss on my lips and the feel of his skin on mine. He will always be a part of me and I will always see him, whether it's in our sons eyes or in the pictures around my house._

_Tommy was right… wrting a song is like falling in love: it can hurt like hell, but in the end, you will always have something sweet in your heart. I don't know what lays ahead for me, but I will always love him._

**AN: Ok so do you hate me or what? I am so sorry that it had to end like that, but like I said, I didn't see it going anywhere and wth my other story, ideas were running low. don't kill me too bad, cause I tried to make it work. I hope you read my stories that follow.**

_**Shawna**_


End file.
